Lived a bloke that they called spotted Dick
Who suffered from Sago and died of Blanc - mange
And whose crumbling made him quite sick
His warm apple dumplings had set him apart
From the Charlotte's and stale mince pies
In life, he had married a Manchester tart
Who upset him a trifle ......with lies
His epitaph read that he'd suffered enough
Though in corners you'd oft hear folk mumble
About his affairs with a rampant plum duff
And promiscuous pineapple crumble
