She Answered in Senryu (Pentaiku)

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Tom Balch
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She Answered in Senryu (Pentaiku)

Postby Tom Balch » Sat Mar 28, 2015 6:22 pm

And why are you crying my dear young one?

“I cry for the past
those long lost days of my youth
and family ties”

And where is your birth place my dear young one?

“I come from the east
a land where the sun shines red
and Geishas serve tea”

And how can I help you my sweet young thing?

“Please let me return
to where a red rising sun
shines for her people”

She answered me in five seven and five.
Last edited by Tom Balch on Mon Mar 30, 2015 5:36 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Stella
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Re: She Answered in Senryu

Postby Stella » Sat Mar 28, 2015 6:54 pm

She certainly did Tom..
What a novel way to use this versatile form and lots of wonderful Eastern imagery too...

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Karin Anderson
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Re: She Answered in Senryu

Postby Karin Anderson » Sun Mar 29, 2015 6:30 am

A clever, colourful and and sentimental presentation so beautifully woven with senryu Tom.

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stevenstirk
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Re: She Answered in Senryu

Postby stevenstirk » Sun Mar 29, 2015 4:51 pm

I loved this clever piece Tom. I also admire the way you move seamlessly in so many poetic directions.

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Fay Slimm
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Re: She Answered in Senryu

Postby Fay Slimm » Sun Mar 29, 2015 10:03 pm

Senryu form is perfect for this sad lament Tom and so clever to weave an eastern request into the question and answer theme. A lovely read.

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Cindy
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Re: She Answered in Senryu (Pentaiku)

Postby Cindy » Wed Apr 01, 2015 2:05 pm

This is a very interesting form. A very nice poem. I may try this form soon.


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