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When Pale Green Was Best (Pentaiku)

Posted: Mon Mar 30, 2015 2:07 pm
by Tom Balch
Been playing with this ten, five, seven, five question answer form, Please give it a go.






And how do you feel now that you have left?

“So very lonely
out on a limb without hope
with no one to care”

Then why did you leave and throw it away?

“I saw greener grass
I saw a chance to be free,
rose glasses you see”

And what is in store now my dear old friend?

“I´ll play solitaire
skim stones, kick leaves and I´ll count
regrets by the score”

And what do you wish for now that you´re free?

“To turn back the clock
return to the way things were
when pale green was best”.

Re: When Pale Green Was Best

Posted: Mon Mar 30, 2015 2:13 pm
by Stella
Wow Tom, i have not seen this done before and it is wonderful that you are bringing new ideas to our site..thank you

if the form has a name please do tell me and i will add it to our list... i think it would be a real challenge for any of us to try writing this way :D :D :D

Re: When Pale Green Was Best

Posted: Mon Mar 30, 2015 2:40 pm
by stevenstirk
I think that this is a splendid piece of poetry Tom . I love your ideology
in bringing and experimenting with forms. Form aside, there is a deep
and meaningful message written in your words. Keep challenging those
boundaries my friend.

Re: When Pale Green Was Best (Pentaiku)

Posted: Tue Mar 31, 2015 6:48 am
by Karin Anderson
Congratulations for your wonderful creation of a Pentaiku form and I am going to give it a go. Using green as a metaphor is a brilliant idea as the moral in the poem works so well in the last line Tom.

Re: When Pale Green Was Best (Pentaiku)

Posted: Wed Apr 01, 2015 2:16 pm
by Cindy
Beautiful.