On a loss felt more and more

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Nightmute
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On a loss felt more and more

Postby Nightmute » Thu Apr 23, 2015 7:58 am

Oh pointless night, oh slapdash sky,
how wistfully you pass me by!
Streaming hope in starry nets,
but not for me with all my debts

to pay.
My heart of lead leaps not that way.

Oh perfect moon, half-held above,
whose crescent boon my bane in love,
and so my voice, now cracked, aflame
with dying passion, 'tis all the same

to me.
With your demise, there is no glee.

But I reminisce, within these hours,
those endless nights of wine and flowers,
our tangled limbs, so slick with sweat
from impassioned exertions, I'll not forget

your face.
Your death undid all of my grace.

Oh, my Love, I do naught but stare
through hollowed eyes dipped in despair,
and seeking answers in the air,
whose questions cause my pain to flare,

again.
Oh, hapless night! What could have been?

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Cindy
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Re: On a loss felt more and more

Postby Cindy » Thu Apr 23, 2015 10:59 am

Your poem is very beautiful. I like the style in which you wrote it. It's unique.

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Fay Slimm
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Re: On a loss felt more and more

Postby Fay Slimm » Thu Apr 23, 2015 9:26 pm

This vivid lament brought me near tears as love's voice mourns again and again the loss of a love. Your pen dear Richard captures intensely the truth of grief's desolation. A well-chosen form brings all the more ache to the sad feel of this meaningful verse my friend. First class writing indeed.

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Seema Chowdhury
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Re: On a loss felt more and more

Postby Seema Chowdhury » Fri Apr 24, 2015 1:18 am

A poignant write, very expressive

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Stella
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Re: On a loss felt more and more

Postby Stella » Fri Apr 24, 2015 8:56 am

Oh so beautifully sad Richard, you have this wonderful gift of drawing on the emotions of your readers and bringing forth tears..

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Tom Balch
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Location: Spain

Re: On a loss felt more and more

Postby Tom Balch » Fri Apr 24, 2015 8:16 pm

A beautifully and very sad piece, Richard. The form is just perfect for this poem.

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Karin Anderson
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Re: On a loss felt more and more

Postby Karin Anderson » Fri Apr 24, 2015 10:03 pm

You always put your heart, soul and spirit into your writing Richard, and I feel your anguish and loss too! This is very well crafted with outstanding rhythm and rhyme, and a pleasure to read even though it is very very mournful Richard.

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stevenstirk
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Re: On a loss felt more and more

Postby stevenstirk » Mon Apr 27, 2015 9:47 pm

I love your poetry, and this piece is a real delight. Timeless,
with an olden feel . Wonderful stuff.

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Nishu
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Re: On a loss felt more and more

Postby Nishu » Tue May 05, 2015 2:33 pm

Eloquent and heart broken ..a sad and intense poem Richard. Beautiful my friend,


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