How Can It Be (a Trijan Refrain)

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Cindy
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How Can It Be (a Trijan Refrain)

Postby Cindy » Wed Apr 29, 2015 9:14 pm

How can it be, How can it be
Within the frigid ground
Where none, but root and worm may see
With silence all around
She lays there now; she fell asleep
Her secrets now, she'll ever keep
She lays there now
She lays there now
A vault of secrets buried deep

How can it be, How can it be
That I still see her face
At simple moments, comes to me
Her presence seems to grace
I should have asked, then I would know
Instead, she's gone, but will not go
I should have asked
I should have asked
Oh, How the questions haunt me so

How can it be, How can it be
My hand upon her stone
She has no voice to set me free
I carry this alone
She stole away; her secrets kept
The night was long, oh how I wept
She stole away
She stole away
Entombed in silence 'neath my step.

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Stella
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Location: West Yorkshire, England

Re: How Can It Be (a Trijan Refrain)

Postby Stella » Thu Apr 30, 2015 9:49 am

Well Wow!..lol

I haven't seen this form before Cindy, but i would imagine it is a joy to write in, and i have much enjoyed this clever write of yours.

I have added the format to our list so that anyone else who would like to write in this form can see how to go about it.. :D

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Tom Balch
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Location: Spain

Re: How Can It Be (a Trijan Refrain)

Postby Tom Balch » Thu Apr 30, 2015 6:06 pm

Wonderful poetry, Cindy and this form suites the piece perfectly.

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stevenstirk
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Re: How Can It Be (a Trijan Refrain)

Postby stevenstirk » Fri May 01, 2015 4:27 pm

I have never seen this form before. I think you have
captured it superbly in such a heart rending piece.

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Nightmute
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Re: How Can It Be (a Trijan Refrain)

Postby Nightmute » Fri May 01, 2015 10:17 pm

A magnificently classical feel to this write, Cindy, and I am swept up in the despair that seizes the narrator, Ma'am. You've written this perfectly to convey that sense of loss and the undeniable anguish felt when words we wished said are left without being uttered. This is my favorite write of yours, to date, Cindy. You portray the anguish so well in this beautifully haunting write, my friend.

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Karin Anderson
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Re: How Can It Be (a Trijan Refrain)

Postby Karin Anderson » Sat May 02, 2015 6:29 am

A most impressive write using the great tool of a form I have not been aware of. The repeats work brilliantly for a dramatic effect, and congratulations to you for crafting this deeply moving poem Cindy.

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Sandra Martyres
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Re: How Can It Be (a Trijan Refrain)

Postby Sandra Martyres » Sat May 02, 2015 8:28 am

You master a rather complex form here Cindy...a very touching write that leaves an impact on the reader....the refrain makes the piece all the more meaningful.

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Fay Slimm
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Topics: 88

Re: How Can It Be (a Trijan Refrain)

Postby Fay Slimm » Sat May 02, 2015 10:40 am

A stunning form which leaves lasting impressions - a bitter-sweet read and a first class poem Cindy.

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Seema Chowdhury
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Re: How Can It Be (a Trijan Refrain)

Postby Seema Chowdhury » Tue May 05, 2015 12:51 am

A nice write.


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